随笔感怀 2010 年 10 月 09 日 at 06:41

看了几则通讯消息偶有感触,通宵达旦写了一篇有关居所的陋文。无奈当中几处不甚通畅,只得暂时保存在自家电脑上,未来几日若有闲暇再细细研究。

意兴阑珊时方觉饥肠辘辘,抬头看时钟已是清晨五点。窗外天光尚未露白,使人不由感慨寒暑相继岁月须臾,眼看这一年又要匆匆而去了。这样想着难免一阵唏嘘。

前几日大学同窗聚会。毕业已经十年,同学诸君多数已然事业小成更兼家庭美满。初初接到邀请时颇感踌躇,怕的是“冠盖满京华,斯人独憔悴”那份落寞。

自己已经是三十有三的人了,成家立业两件大事均未有所规模。父亲屡屡责备道:事业上是不指望你有所建树了,成家一事难道也不放在心上吗?

大姐尝介绍一位于吾弟公司兼职之女子于我。此女子年纪与我相仿,大姐赞其精明干练。初次见面无甚交流,后来短信联络数次,最关注的是我的工作。得知我乃区区一介教师之后,屡次出谋划策劝我转行经商,言辞殷切,颇有唤浪子回头之意。又云:“君焉能虚度时光,何不效汝兄某某(吾弟之名)般谋一番事业?”吾闻之无言以对,良久方回复“一则某某并非吾兄,实吾弟也。二则人各有志不可强求,在下愚钝恐怕辜负姑娘一片美意”云云。遂无言讯复至。

复有一女,初谈时问吾闲暇喜好,答曰思考。又问及思考何事,吾以实对曰家国社稷乃至人类发展之事,佳人嗤之以鼻,亦不复联络。

由此一二事,我自思成家一事,非吾不为,力不及也。百无一用是书生,出无香车宝马,入无广厦豪宅,缘何可得佳人青睐?况且世间最难得,实乃理解二字。俗语有云:话不投机半句多。若在人生和事业追求这般大事上都无可沟通,纵然一时勉强,焉能相伴终老?且终身大事不可敷衍草率,否则误人误己,实罪过矣。

当年年少轻狂,志大才疏,求学之时又心有旁骛,不知蹉跎几多岁月,而今想来追悔莫及。每感于此,常惶恐来日无多,唯有格外勤勉权做亡羊补牢之功而已。至于其他诸事,恐怕只能听由造化安排了。

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